The fears that are holding us back from the lives we want is learned. Whether we learned it from our parents, siblings, friends, or society, the bottom line is that we were not born with our fears.
Let that sink in for a second. It is incredible to believe that we allow FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real – to stand in the way of all of the things that are truly important to us… and that these fears are not even true! They may create emotions and physical feelings in our bodies, but they do not exist. They are not real!
We can confront and challenge our fears using a simple two-step process.
First, we must question our fears. We must ask ourselves whether our fear is truly life-threatening: Am I going to die? Or is this fear simply an intellectual story?
We must self-assess and prove to our brains that the thing we are fearing and feeling is not something that should be feared. It can even help to poke fun at our fear and prove to our brains how ridiculous it is.
Next, we need to shift our focus. We must ask ourselves: What am I missing out on if I heed this intellectual story? What is the opportunity cost? How much will giving into this fear impact my family, friends, and the impact I want to have in the world?
Our goal in honestly answering these questions is to remind ourselves that giving into our fears is a lot scarier than challenging them. The consequences of not taking action against our fears it what is to be feared.
By following these two steps, we decide that we will not allow our fear to hold us back any longer. After all, giving into our fabricated intellectual stories is the only real death – death of our goals, dreams, and potential.
Reflection
Today, take the time to confront your fears. Truly pause to consider whether your fears are life-threatening and actively visualize and write about what it will cost you to give into them. Show your brain that often the only thing standing in the way of your living a richer and more fulfilling life is a made-up story that you can unlearn.
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