Emotional States

Emotions are not bad or good. Rather than judging them based upon their moral character, some better questions might be: What is causing these emotions? Are these emotions helping or harming me at a specific point in time? How do I want to respond to these emotions? What might be the outcomes of my response to these emotions?

Emotional states – particularly extreme or heightened states – can be the sources of inspiration and joy. However, they are also often the root of many of the mistakes and missteps we make in life. They displace us from our rational centers and into a state of panicked, frantic, agitation.

At times like these, many of us numb, distract, or practice any number of avoidance strategies because we would rather not be present with our experience. After all, we understandably may genuinely dislike where we are or how we are responding – and being present would only instill that reality.

Avoidance or distraction are never the solution – at least not for long – and they inevitably compound the situation and our emotions.

As uncomfortable as it may feel in the moment, the solution is acknowledging and taking responsibility for our emotions and choosing how we wish to respond. It is nonjudgmentally accepting our emotions without giving our power away them. It is recognizing that emotions are transient even if they feel all-consuming.

Effectively dealing with our emotional states is like effectively dealing with the waves in an ocean when we are surfing. They come in various shapes, sizes, and intensities and have varying impact. Navigating them skillfully means that we must show up to them and think about them with perspective and in context. It also means that we must slow down enough to feel and acknowledge their impact, without allowing ourselves to be consumed or defined by them.

I recognize that my emotions do not last forever. They are quite literally e-motions: energy in motion. I, do, however, understand that they have the ability to have both acute and lasting consequences in my life depending on how I react to them. I thus take the time to mindfully feel them without allowing them to define or dictate me. I then choose my response mindfully and thoughtfully, keeping my values and goals in mind.