If you do not like the fruits your present life is yielding, take a look at the condition of your roots.
Do you have people “rooting” for you? As much as we would like to buy into the myth of bootstrapping, complete independence, no man is an island unto himself, and humans are inherently inter-dependent beings. We all need support in our lives, though the amount and kind of support may vary.
Being surrounded by others is not akin to healthy “rooting” by them. Are the people closest to you the types of influences you desire and require in your life? Are they lifting you up? Holding you accountable? Challenging you to grow into the best version of yourself? Accepting you? What do you need in terms of “rooting” from others? Remember that it is not only physical individuals that have the ability “root” – books, movies, music, and other media can be positive sources of support or negative influences in your life.
Even more than the rooting you receive from others is the rooting you receive from yourself.
Are you rooting for yourself? Do you have your own back? What kinds of words do you use to speak to yourself? What messages is your inner dialogue feeding your psyche? Do you constantly engage in self-doubt, self-criticism, shaming, blaming, or other self-sabotaging processes? What do you need from yourself in order for you to do the things to grow your Self and your life into what you want them to be?
Finally, it’s important to be patient.
Many of the things we work towards in our lives follow a process that is analogous to that of the Chinese bamboo tree. In the first five years after it is planted, a Chinese bamboo doesn’t yield nary a sprout, even with daily watering and fertilizing. After five years, it finally breaks ground and grows 90 feet in five weeks!
If you’ve been working diligently and find yourself discouraged with how long your goals seem to be taking, don’t give up. As author Earl Nightingale famous said, “ 'Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”
I take stock of the fruits my life is currently yielding and assess the condition of my roots. If I don’t like the condition of my fruits, I thoughtfully prune my roots. I also remind myself that many good things take time and the sweetest fruit doesn’t always ripen overnight.
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